If a human can't love you at a bigger size, they don't deserve you.
You might think, "Noel, you don't know what you're talking about. You've been in a relationship for 7 years and now we all have to go on Tinder and make the best first impression using one picture of ourselves and 10 seconds."
You're right. It's tough out there. People are totally making split second decisions about who you are based off your picture.
Let's take a look at WHY you think people who are fat are not "attractive."
I had to go into some dark spaces of the Internet to get information about stereotypes people have against fat people.
At its best, people are concerned about mental health issues fat people supposedly have: food addiction, depression, or low self-esteem. Some claim to worry for their health (but if you read my blog, you know that not all fat people are suffering from health issues).
At its worst, fat phobia sounds like bigotry making sweeping claims that all fat people are lazy, cruel,unable to control urges and smelly.
We develop these opinions through osmosis. Films show fat people as the bad guys. Shows like The Biggest Loser claim to be helping people overcome their grief and loneliness by using weight loss as their primary therapy. Then there are viral videos that straight-up make fun of fat people, describing them as sausages and the like.
I've unpacked some of the science before about why this isn't necessarily true.
Let's say this is about alleles and who you want to pass down your genes. The darkest part about this thought pattern is this question:
Do you really believe fat women don't deserve sex, love, life and dignity?
Aren't we all human beings here?
You wouldn't look at a chubby baby, and be like, "It's your fault, baby, that you don't have any baby friends." At least I hope not.
Photo by John Mcallister/Hemera / Getty Images
Sarah McLaughlin would def have something to say if you thought that chubby dogs didn't deserve love. Admit it. You would straight up adopt this chubby dog. You would not tell this dog that it doesn't deserve to do everything in its life that it wants to do because it's not the ideal bulldog size.
And that's my point. You deserve love.
Whoever you're dating, the right person will love you for you.
Looks will fade. You will age. Your metabolism will slow. You may not be blonde forever. The person who is supposed to love you more than anything in the world should love you now.
This doesn't mean I think you should go out there wearing a tshirt with a mustard stain on your first date but know that if you want someone to love you unconditionally, it might be good if you found someone for whom you don't have to constantly, intensely restrict your food or go to the gym obsessively.
Unconditional love is just that: unconditional.
Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments below!
