Don't be dull

All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. 

And when Jill is a dull girl, Jill likes to find fun foods because eating is her only real break ( or she totally loses it in an isolated mountainous hotel).  

 I live in New York City and New York City is a very expensive place. In order to stay here and work here, one has to work very hard just to stay afloat. 

When I first graduated from NYU, I had job at a grocery store.

The hours were pretty horrible. The pay was pretty minimal but I was hoping that I could somehow grow in my field by continuing to stay there. Being low-ranking in retail is especially challenging because you have to be available at all times. That means late at night and on the weekends.  And that's what I did. 

This meant that whenever fun activities at night and the weekends would come up, I would politely decline in favor of my work. So, instead of seeing my friends and being 22, I stayed home and spent a lot of time with Netflix and Hulu.

It was pretty grinding and soul-crushing. 

My big release, however, were snacks and alcohol. I loved coming home and enjoying whatever snack I found on sale and whatever interesting IPA I could afford. Other nights, it was cereal. 

And because it was the most fun part of my day, many nights I couldn't stop eating. I would eat WAAAAAAAY past my fullness cue.

I don't tell this story to show you guys how awesome I am. I mean, I am, but that's beyond the point.

 Symbolic restriction in our lives can lead to literal "binges" with our food.

When we limit what we do, our body compensates. In the same way that calorie restriction actually physiologically sets you up for a binge because your body becomes convinced that you're starving, mentally restricting our lives can also result in the physical manifestation of binging on food. For other people, binging might look more like overspending, drug or alcohol abuse, or, in the case of The Shining, a full psychotic break. 

By loosening the reins on our lives, we can actually achieve a healthier relationship with food. 

Here's what helped me to survive those dark days:

1. I came to terms with the fact that I was hungry after my late night shifts. 

I had to accept that I needed a little self-love after a long day behind the register. This brought a little mindfulness to my late-night snacking.

2.  I got promoted. 

Hard work pays off. Eventually, I had a new job that allowed me to have a little bit more control over my schedule which meant that I could actually plan a few things with my friends and family to relax. 

3. I made friends with my coworkers

Coworkers understand why your schedule is sooo crazy and don't think you're just blowing them off when you can't hang. They know your schedule and understand when you can't make it. Also, it makes work more fun when you go in and get to hang out with people you like. 

So, for those of you that feel trapped by your lifestyle right now and KNOW you're using food as a way to manage it, let's talk. Schedule your first  FREE session with me.

Nicki Minaj is kind of my hero

I know this summer is going to be different. In fact, the whole world is going to be different. 

And, I think it's all due to Nicki Minaj. 

Fortunately, every single dance I've attended from birth has featured the musical stylings of Sir Mix-A-Lot. Nicki Minaj not only sampled these fine melodious beats but also took the booty back for women.

Thanks to her and Meghan Trainor during the summer of 2014, women everywhere are celebrating booties.  So instead of encouraging my clients to get their bikini body ready, I'm encouraging them to shake their bodies to a little Nicki. 

Here's why I kind of think she's the coolest:

1. She's sex positive.

Nicki Minaj steps into her sexuality in an empowered way. She takes the driver's seat of her own sexuality. Her rap echoes many other male emcees by bragging about sexual exploits.

I've mentioned before how enjoying pleasure in life is an important step in becoming an intuitive eater. Being proud and positive about your sexuality is an awesome way to just take care of your own needs. 

But more than that, she's choosing to be the subject instead of the object. And that's some cool beans. 

2. She thinks her fat ass is sexy and she thinks other women should like theirs too. 

Anaconda is explicitly a song for women who identify with having a "big butt." Minaj has taken some heat for calling out skinny bitches but I'll let Melissa Fabello explain why "skinny-shaming" is not exactly the same as fat-shaming here. 

When popular culture shows and praises more diverse bodies, we all get a little more comfortable with diverse bodies, which makes a lot of people's lives easier. After all, a fat ass shouldn't stop you from getting down in the club. 

3. She's a female rapper totally redefining the scene. 

Nicki Minaj does not self-identify as a feminist. In an interview with Vogue, she mentioned she can't quite make anybody happy. 

It's cool that Nicki Minaj is just proud to be herself and to be creating something totally new and different. 

And that's something I'm willing to dance about. 

What to eat on your first date

Smart, handsome guy across the table. 

You're laughing. You're enjoying yourself. You're connecting. 

The date is going really well. 

And then, you think, "SHOOT. What am I going to eat?"

You realize the menu basically only has burgers, salads, and an uber expensive entree and you're not sure who is going to pay. 

You think, "I SHOULD eat a salad but then he'll think I'm a bird.If I get the burger, will he think that I don't take care of myself? And if I get the entree, maybe he'll think I'm assuming he's paying and I think money is important"

Yeeesh!!!!!!!!!! Look, I'm not going to say definitively that guys don't worry about this in the same way that women do. I'm saying that more women might relate to this story. 

This scene demonstrates the unique relationship a lot of women have with food. Food is fraught with anxiety.

Because most women are objectified in media today, many women learn to self-objectify. Self-objectification leads you down this rabbit hole. During a date, especially a heteronormative one, the female is the object of desire. 

As Gloria Steinam once said, "A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space."

In the first date scenario, the woman feels evaluated on this simple task of eating. External validation and approval from this guy seems important and our heroine seems pretty helpless. 

You may start to notice a theme in these blog posts.: 

Ladies, ladies, ladies, YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

If this guy cares that you're craving a salad, a burger, or a filet mignon and is disappointed in whatever meal choice you're making, he's not good enough for you. Nobody should be evaluating you on what food you decide to eat on any given night of the week. 

So, eat what you want. Do you. And then, maybe even offer to pick up the check. 

Honor Your Health

The 10th  and final principle of  the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating is, "Honor Your Health---with Gentle Nutrition."

Notice that this is not the first principle. It's the last. When you've completed all 9 of the other principles, that's when you're ready to start paying attention to nutrition. 

Most people get it backwards. We focus first on what we think we should be eating or not be eating and we start down the rabbit hole. We eat our "healthy snack" at a designated snack time when we're not hungry. We wait until our designated "lunch" time to eat an totally unfulfilling vinegar salad that's burning our lips and leaving us starving. Then, we go to the bathroom to berate ourselves for getting something "calorie dense" in our salads. And suddenly, you hate the pants you bought two days ago because you look fat or something and you need to wash your hair again tonight, probably because of that "calorie dense" item in your vinegar salad. And, then maybe, you go home from work, skip your workout and eat ice cream all night, vowing to start the Paleo diet and attend two crossfit classes next week. 

But... if you've been reading this blog you know that you never have to diet again. You can eat when you're hungry, not eat when you're full. You're cool with getting "calorie dense" options in your salad and even, dare I say, creamy dressing. You've made peace with food and you don't care what the food police have to say. You stopped wearing those pants that are too small for you because you respect your body the way it is now. You had a lovely walk this morning after your chocolate croissant because it helps you manage your stress at your job which is the real reason you ate ice cream and didn't like your hair in the afternoon. You have also invested in a hair cut you like instead of crossfit classes because you realized you hated going to that anyway. 

But.. maybe this is just my story... err.. I mean my "friend's" story?

The critical switch between chronically dieting and intuitive eating is SELF LOVE. 

When you stop tuning out of your body like its the Taylor Swift song you've been listening on repeat for too long, you can start to actually take care of yourself.  And that's the coaching process for Phenomenal Jane. I'll take you on the journey from vinegar salads to the life you love. 

Because it's not about hating how you look or berating yourself for decisions you've made around food. 

It's about, well, shaking it off. 

Love Your Body

The 8th principle of Intuitive Eating is "Respect Your Body."

It sounds simple enough but I have to tell you that it's not easy. This one principle is CRITICAL to becoming an intuitive eater. 

I'm probably going to write about 10 million more blog posts about this because believing your body is good enough is really hard. It's especially hard when there's tons of magazines, advertisements, and pictures everywhere reminding us that we need to buy wrinkle cream, botox, a fast car, or McDonalds to be good enough or in order to love life. 

In fact, they made a whole documentary about it. Our culture very much values appearance. This is especially true for women.  When we don't meet the standards, it can be hard to feel good enough. Even if you don't have a diagnosable eating disorder, managing food can be one way to cope with this very human and very normal feeling. 

For me, the process of coming to love my body came from learning to recognize that my body weight was NOT somehow an indicator of my worth or my health.

The idea that your body should look like the cover of some magazine is not only unattainable but not necessarily healthy for your body.  I would argue that the fallacy that we can all fit into one size is one of the worst myths out there. 

Here's the big thing: 

Weight doesn't really matter the most when it comes to your health. 

Socially, we  have conflated the two. And GURRRRRRRRRRRL, (or BOOOOOOOOOOIIIII) do I have some youtube videos for you to watch:

1.  You can be healthy at every size: http://www.bodylovewellness.com/speaking/ 

This video unpacks one of the largest nutrition studies in the world and shows how weight is not a significant factor in health and longevity when people exercise regularly, eat fruits and vegetables, don't smoke, and drink minimally. 

Stop stepping on the scale to measure your "health."  Focus instead on healthy habits. 

2.  BMI is bologna: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlXxoG98urc&noredirect=1

 BMI, or Body Mass Index, is a formula that takes your weight and divides it by your height squared. In this video, Laci Green unpacks how it evolved from a simple formula that was explicitly not to be used as an indicator for health to being co-opted by life insurance companies and the dieting industry. Now, BMI is the rallying cry of people fighting the "obesity epidemic."

I give you these videos because the conversation around weight has bled into the conversation about health and part of learning to love your body is learning to know the difference. Taking care of your body is about listening to it, not berating yourself for being "overweight." 

Because, c'mon, how well has hating your body worked so far?