A weekly blog about how to quit dieting for good using an intuitive eating and health at every size approach.
This week, I've got no new stories to share on the blog.
Part of taking care of yourself sometimes is doing nothing.
And, you know what, that's okay.
If you're bored, check out my elaborate series of posts about intuitive eating here.
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Have an awesome weekend!
I know this summer is going to be different. In fact, the whole world is going to be different.
And, I think it's all due to Nicki Minaj.
Fortunately, every single dance I've attended from birth has featured the musical stylings of Sir Mix-A-Lot. Nicki Minaj not only sampled these fine melodious beats but also took the booty back for women.
Thanks to her and Meghan Trainor during the summer of 2014, women everywhere are celebrating booties. So instead of encouraging my clients to get their bikini body ready, I'm encouraging them to shake their bodies to a little Nicki.
Here's why I kind of think she's the coolest:
1. She's sex positive.
Nicki Minaj steps into her sexuality in an empowered way. She takes the driver's seat of her own sexuality. Her rap echoes many other male emcees by bragging about sexual exploits.
I've mentioned before how enjoying pleasure in life is an important step in becoming an intuitive eater. Being proud and positive about your sexuality is an awesome way to just take care of your own needs.
But more than that, she's choosing to be the subject instead of the object. And that's some cool beans.
2. She thinks her fat ass is sexy and she thinks other women should like theirs too.
Anaconda is explicitly a song for women who identify with having a "big butt." Minaj has taken some heat for calling out skinny bitches but I'll let Melissa Fabello explain why "skinny-shaming" is not exactly the same as fat-shaming here.
When popular culture shows and praises more diverse bodies, we all get a little more comfortable with diverse bodies, which makes a lot of people's lives easier. After all, a fat ass shouldn't stop you from getting down in the club.
3. She's a female rapper totally redefining the scene.
Nicki Minaj does not self-identify as a feminist. In an interview with Vogue, she mentioned she can't quite make anybody happy.
It's cool that Nicki Minaj is just proud to be herself and to be creating something totally new and different.
And that's something I'm willing to dance about.
George R.R. Martin officially issued the finger to his readers concerned he will die before he finishes his series of books that have inspired the HBO series, Game of Thrones.
And, I have to say, I agree.
For those of you unfamiliar, George R.R. Martin is a sturdy man of about 66 years old. Some readers and fans of the books and series have concerns about his "health" because he is "overweight."
This is, quite frankly, BULLSHIT.
Here are 3 reasons you don't have to worry about Georgey.
1. You have no personal information about his health. Nor should you.
I believe I've talked about this in other blog posts, but according to the Nurse's Health Study, weight is just one factor in living a long life. And actually, if he's exercising, eating fruits and vegetables, limiting alcohol, and getting good sleep, weight isn't even a factor in longevity of life.
But the truth is, we don't know about his personal health habits and, because he's not a health guru showing up every other week on Dr. Oz, we probably don't have a right to that.
It's called privacy. It's the reason your mother-in-law can't look up your history of gynecological visits and make judgements about you based off of how many UTIs you've had.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. To quote Neil Gaiman, "George R.R. Martin is not your bitch."
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that George R.R. Martin probably has a publicist or agent. That means any time he does an event or writes a show or hangs out with other celebrity fantasy novelists, it's supposed to show up somewhere in the media. To, I don't know, help increase public awareness or SEO so that either he or HBO can make a living off what they're doing.
We're not sitting there being like, goddamnit Jennifer Lawrence, why isn't all of your energy going into making more Hunger Games? Because, well, she has to eat and sleep and focus on other projects.
Just like you publicly liking things on Facebook when you have other projects that you're working on that maybe other people would like you to finish.
And, that's why I have to bring up my 3rd point.
3. Shaming other people for their weight doesn't really help you.
This whole idea warrants its own blog post which is coming your way soon but here's the simple logic of it:
If you're judging someone else because of their weight, then you probably worry that other people judge your weight.
If you're worried about other people judging you based off your weight, then you're probably fixated on fixing your weight.
And, as we established earlier, weight doesn't really matter if you're taking care of your body.
Stop worrying about weight even if you can't "wait" for more Game of Thrones.
Oh, homophones.
Smart, handsome guy across the table.
You're laughing. You're enjoying yourself. You're connecting.
The date is going really well.
And then, you think, "SHOOT. What am I going to eat?"
You realize the menu basically only has burgers, salads, and an uber expensive entree and you're not sure who is going to pay.
You think, "I SHOULD eat a salad but then he'll think I'm a bird.If I get the burger, will he think that I don't take care of myself? And if I get the entree, maybe he'll think I'm assuming he's paying and I think money is important"
Yeeesh!!!!!!!!!! Look, I'm not going to say definitively that guys don't worry about this in the same way that women do. I'm saying that more women might relate to this story.
This scene demonstrates the unique relationship a lot of women have with food. Food is fraught with anxiety.
Because most women are objectified in media today, many women learn to self-objectify. Self-objectification leads you down this rabbit hole. During a date, especially a heteronormative one, the female is the object of desire.
As Gloria Steinam once said, "A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space."
In the first date scenario, the woman feels evaluated on this simple task of eating. External validation and approval from this guy seems important and our heroine seems pretty helpless.
You may start to notice a theme in these blog posts.:
Ladies, ladies, ladies, YOU ARE ENOUGH.
If this guy cares that you're craving a salad, a burger, or a filet mignon and is disappointed in whatever meal choice you're making, he's not good enough for you. Nobody should be evaluating you on what food you decide to eat on any given night of the week.
So, eat what you want. Do you. And then, maybe even offer to pick up the check.
They say it hurts to be beautiful but I would have never guessed that it hurts like this.
I'm talking, of course, about my wallet. It costs a boatload of money to stay pretty. People blow billions every year on cosmetics and weight loss.
According to an article by InStyle, aggregated data from mint.com reveals that the average women spends $15,000 in her lifetime on makeup alone.
When you add in the gender pay gap, being a woman should basically count as a tax deduction.
I think it's fair to say that women are largely valued for their appearance. When you're valued for your appearance, it seems worth it to spend money to keep up your appearance.
People made a big fuss about Angelina Jolie's double mastectomy but they don't seem to care as much about her hysterectomy. It's likely because her ovaries haven't made her as much money over the years.
Look. I'm not trying to close down Sephora. You can still wear your favorite brightly colored lipstick and spend $27 on that moisturizer that you really love because, well, makeup is complicated.
As a coach, I tell my clients it's not the act of doing things like eating kale, exercising regularly, or wearing makeup that betrays your commitment to feminism or even makes you unhealthy, it's HOW you engage with these items.
I obviously love kale. I wrote a whole blog about it here. I also love exercise. I really love putting lotion on my face.
The essential work of intuitive eating is trying to learn how to eat to NOURISH your body instead of berating it.
When choosing your outfit, your makeup, or even your dietary supplement, focus on taking care of yourself instead of fixing yourself.
There's nothing broken in you so there's nothing to fix.
Money is an exchange of value. So, if you're trading your hard earned cash, just make sure you're spending it because you know your own worth already.
