Something to do besides dieting to make you happy

During my days at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, we talked about primary food. IIN's founder, Joshua Rosenthal, believes that secondary food is the actual food you eat. For him, primary food is your career, your relationships, your spirituality, and exercise.

The basic premise is that if you can heal these other parts of your life, then you can heal your relationship with food. Intuitive Eating posits the opposite. If you heal your relationship with food, you can heal the other parts of your life. 

Regardless of whether it's the chicken or the egg, diets don't work. So, what does? If you want to be happier, the answer might be in positive psychology. 

I skimmed through my old notes from a lecture at IIN about positive psychology. This lecture was based on the work of Martin Seligman. 

Here is the gist: 

1.  Focusing on what is already good makes you happier. 

We know for certain that hating your body doesn't help you love it. 

Seligman wanted people to think about what was good in their life, not just focus on the bad. 

One easy way to do this is what he calls the "3 blessings exercise." Every day you write down 3 good things that happened and why they happened. 

The more details, the better. 

 A study at USC showed participants who wrote more details of their gratitude did best. They were "more elated, excited, and alert than the other groups. [They were also] less tired, sad, and lethargic." 

 That's pretty compelling evidence. Focusing on what is already good in your life is at the very least energizing. 

Spending hundreds on juice cleanses might make you feel more energetic. But journaling what you're grateful for is FREE!

2. Figuring out what your current strengths are makes you stronger. 

When I was first coming around to accepting my body, I tried a new strategy in the mirror.  I would just look in the mirror and see one thing that I liked. Sometimes, it was my eyelash. Sometimes, if I was really feeling myself, it would be my thighs. Eventually, I was able to look in the mirror and say, "Damn, Girl!"

Seligman would call this the "Engaged Life" or the "Good Life." He encourages people to find out their signature strength. Instead of squeezing at parts of your body that you dislike, he suggests you find your flow. This is like finding the eyelash that you like IRL.

In not such a weird analogy, this means finding what you're good at. If you're good at knitting, knit for work. If you're good at coding, become a computer engineer. If you're good at solving mysteries, become Sherlock Holmes. Fill your days with something that you find joy and ease in. I know. It's easier said than done. But didn't people used to say that about diets?

Here's a tool you can use to do it. 

3. Apply your Strengths to Others.

Remember how last week I was raving about volunteering? Well, there's some science to that. Seligman points to research on this. He says that meaning in our lives amplifies the good things and the pleasant things in our lives. 

Something powerful happens when you combine your strengths with altruism. It's an alchemy of positivity. 

He writes that doing something good for someone else made people happier for longer. In his Tedtalk in 2004, he even suggests that having "meaning" in our lives has led to better health. 

As much as we want to believe that getting our dream body will make us happier, it's not a straight shot. 

Take a moment to enjoy your life. Find out what you're good at instead of making yucky smoothies. Do what you're good at for others.  It'll all work better than dieting to make you happy. 

Resolutions that have nothing to do with diet and exercise

It's that time of year again where Oprah suggests that you can become a better person.  You can "live your life AND lose weight."

Besides the fact that I'm disappointed in Oprah, this time of year is really aggravating for me. 

This year especially.

The most un-feminist thing about dieting and exercise is that it takes away from the rest of your life. Even Oprah knows this. 

The famous line from The Beauty Myth is:

"A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women's history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one." -Naomi Wolf

What if this year, you focused on something else besides weight loss?

What if you just forgot about eating a lot of cookies and drinking a lot of wine during the holidays? And, just, you know, moved on. Like Donald Trump does after tweeting. 

Here are 5 things you could do instead of dieting or exercising more: 

1. Volunteer

You know what's great cardio? Getting your ass up on the weekend or even after work and going to do something for other human beings. Did you know you burn calories ladling out soup for other people who are hungry? 

The best part is that you don't have to eat any of the food yourself. In fact, you're not supposed to eat that food at all. Someone donated that food for other people. 

If feeding the hungry isn't political enough for you, you can always volunteer for something else. You could provide tutoring to children who are survivors of domestic abuse. You could volunteer for Planned Parenthood. The sky is the limit. You could also do something to prevent pollution or climate change. 

Idealist.org and Volunteermatch.org are great places to get your search started.  

2. Donate Money

You're saving lots of money on your lack of a gym membership this year because you quit dieting. So, why not put that extra money toward a charity of your choice. 

Syria, for example, isn't doing too hot. You could send money to them. There's also lots of social programs right here in the USA that could use your help. Did I already mention Planned Parenthood? 

Charity Navigator allows you look up different charities that you might want to give to and rates them based off how well they work and use their money. 

3. Meditate

2017 is shaping up to be a difficult year. I know that I might lose health insurance. Some women might be losing reproductive rights. 

Instead of fixating on calorie counting, I'll be meditating as a coping mechanism. My favorite app for this is Headspace. 

You can just spend 10-15 minutes/day exercising your mind instead of your body. Meditating can sometimes be lame or New-Agey in an annoying way. I haven't encountered any mention of chakras or the Divine spirit. It's really just a breathing program.

4. Clean out your house

Marie Kondo manages her anxiety by getting rid of everything in her house that doesn't bring her joy. As an added benefit, you can burn calories and your ex-boyfriend's things. 

If you compulsively fixate on cleanliness or your ex-boyfriend, I don't recommend this one. 

5. Focus on your career. 

Instead of being smaller, focus on being bigger. Your role should be bigger. Your wallet should be bigger. And your office should be bigger.

Losing weight makes you smaller.  

When I'm dieting, I'm usually thinking about the next sliver of cantaloupe. I'm not thinking about how I'm going to get promoted to a C-level suite position. 

So this year: 

I'm reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In this year instead of dieting.

I'm dropping socks in the trash instead of LBs. 

I'm counting breaths instead of calories. 

I'm making it rain on charities instead of dripping sweat on the treadmill. 

I'm putting all my blood, sweat and tears into other things this year. 

Body Positive Gift Ideas

Last year about this time, I talked about holiday stress. 

Holidays are totally stressful. So, why add to the stress by trying to diet? Am I right? 

As an avid reader, I'm assuming this year you've quit dieting. BUT... you've still got holiday shopping to do. 

Being the generous person I am, I have compiled a list for your friends. Or, you can send it to your family as a wish list. ; )

Here are some body positive gift ideas for the ladies you love:

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1. Shine Theory Button

Shine theory posits that women should hold each other up instead of cutting each other down. "I don't shine if you don't shine" is the refrain. 

Supporting that special lady in your life is a pretty dope present. I've mentioned before how it can be pretty body positive. 

So, tell your friend you've got their back with a shiny sticker or button. 

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2. Period Panties

Here's something I haven't talked about before! 

Periods. Are you uncomfortable yet? 

"Western" women are "lucky." There's relatively less shame about periods than in some countries in the world. 

Dealing with your period, however, can be literally painful sometimes and harming to your body. Do you know what they put in a lot of menstrual products? I don't. Nobody does. It's scary.

A major source of self-hatred for women is their period. We're ashamed. We feel ugly.  

So, why not have something soft and silky? I'll admit I haven't tried it yet. But, I'm hoping I get a pair soon. 

3 Ways Wanderlust Made Me Love My Body

I recently attended my first Wanderlust Festival at Stratton. I laughed, I cried, I meditated. I listened to brilliant minds speak. I rode up 4,000 feet, over the most green, beautiful mountains I have ever seen. I shared hugs, tears, and glow sticks and danced my booty off.

3. Leggings

My love of leggings is undeniable. I even wrote an article for Wanderlust where I talk about how leggings=body love. 

My favorite feature of leggings is the elastic waist. When I'm trying to honor my hunger and my fullness, I don't want a tight button stopping me too soon. Sometimes, I feel like high-waisted jeans are the corsettes of the 21st century.Well, besides that weird thing Kim Kardashian was selling for a while. 

 A lot of companies have caught on to the leggings trend so I trust that you know where to look. 

I recommend Athleta as they have straight and plus sizes. 

4. Angry Chick Music

Sorry for the weird 90s reference. Does anybody say "chick" anymore? 

Feeling revolutionary is what helps me to stay positive about my body. I often have the courage to love my body in the face of what the patriarchy wants and any ex-boyfriend. 

Obviously Beyonce had a good year for music and she woke up like this. Nicki Minaj can remind you to love that fat ass. Fiona Apple will help you conquer your ex. No Doubt has "had it up to here." Le Tigre and Sleater Kinney will help you rise up and fight the power. 

I made a Spotify playlist for some of the ones I like. The mixtape is the punk-rock flower. Maybe you can send your own recommended playlist with your holiday e-card?

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5. A t-shirt to remind them they don't need to diet. 

A great t-shirt is a political act. 

Thwart the retail industrial complex by buying something from alternative sources. 

Etsy has a bunch of great resources. But, my friend, Christy Harrison, made some cool schwag. You can also check out her super cool and informative podcast, Food Psych. 

6. A FREE coaching consultation with yours truly. 

2017 is sure to be a tough year ahead. Wouldn't it be nice to have the body stuff out of sight and out of mind? That way you super smart ladies can focus on what really matters to you this year: each other. : )

How to stop eating when you're full

I've talked about this before on the blog.

The holidays used to be horrible for me for overeating. I hated going to parties where there was a lot of finger food and nothing too hearty. I'd never get to the flatbread in time. So, cookies being my fave, I ate a bunch of 'em. Well past the point of fullness. 

Nowadays to avoid the terrible overly full feeling, I have a few strategies. 

Here's what to do to stop eating past the point of fullness (if you want to). 

1. Give yourself full permission to eat. 

This is the most important step. You can't do anything else on this list effectively unless you give yourself permission. 

Often times our subconscious minds tell us that this is our last chance to eat something. Meanwhile, our conscious mind is trying to get us to stop. 

This is part of the binge-restrict cycle. When we think we can't have something, we stop eating it. Then, when we face it, we feel like we can't have it. So we go craaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzyyyyy on it. It is, after all, our last chance. 

2. Eat when you're hungry.

via GIPHY

This one is pretty intuitive. But diet culture teaches us that eating is bad in general. 

The worst line I ever read on a diet website was, "You're on a diet. You're going to be hungry. You just have to learn how to deal with it." 

Why? That's cray. Why would it be healthy to ignore a cue from your body. If I started bleeding out of my face, I wouldn't be like, "I'll just ignore this." So, why do we do this with food?

3. Pick foods that fill you up so you don't get voraciously hungry. 

 You can keep hoping that the ramen noodles you bought will last you until dinnertime. This would be a false hope, Luke Skywalker. (Get it?! A New Hope? #starwars #rogueone #nextweekend #nerdsarecool)

Dietitians love to show people this chart that shows how your blood sugar rises and falls.  In it, we see that carbohydrates spike your blood sugar, then fall. Protein lasts longer than carbs and fat lasts the longest. Fiber helps to sustain fullness for longer. Soluble fiber, found in most fruits and veggies, takes your body longer to digest. So, it hangs out in your stomach for longer. 

 An easy way to prevent yourself from overstuffing is by eating MORE at other meals. You can add peanut butter to your apple.  You can add hummus to your carrots. You can add chicken to your salad. You can just have a snack between lunch and dinner. 

4. Satisfy your Cravings. 

See #1 again. 

Satiety can also be psychological. For example, if I'm craving a hamburger, I usually don't feel "full" until I get that burger. I can snack all night on mango slices and never feel "full" because I never let myself just have what I wanted. 

Sometimes it's better to have the real thing. I can tell you from experience that you can eat all the different varieties of vegan macaroni and cheese. It just doesn't satisfy like the real thing. 

 By all means, don't hurt yourself. I do not recommend eating something you're allergic to. Anaphylactic shock can kill you. Overeating is less likely to kill you. 

5. Give yourself time to eat

via GIPHY

In today's busy world, we often don't have time to eat. We eat while we're working. We eat while we're driving. We eat while we're watching tv. We eat while we're trying to do something else. 

Not only is that a recipe for indigestion, but it's also a way of disconnecting you from your body. Chewing is hard to do while shoveling a sandwich down during a long commute. Chewing is an important part of digestion. Without it, you might feel bloated. 

 If you sit down to a square meal, you might find it more satisfying. 

 6. Make a plate

Sometimes putting food on a plate shows us how much food it is so we can feel like we actually got a square meal. 

When I get a hankering for snackies, I find it useful to fill up a bowl or a plate with said snackies. As with holiday parties, sometimes snacks don't seem like they can add up to a meal. But, they can. It's a fine way to eat a meal. That's why the Spanish love their tapas. 

7. Listen to your body

via GIPHY

Overeating is often symptomatic of other issues. 

It could be the result of not feeding your body when you were hungry. It could be the result of not satisfying a craving. It could be feelings. You could be in a rush and not have time to chew. 

Overeating is just eating more than your tummy can hold. Slow down and try to listen to your body when you're hungry and when you're full. 

You don't have to sit down on a meditation pillow and chant oms between each bite of food. Just remember that eating is about taking care of yourself. 

You don't have to feel shame about eating. You don't have to eat in a rush. You don't have to eat food that you hate. You CAN eat food you love. You CAN take time for yourself.  You CAN eat food that makes you FEEL better. No shame necessary. 

Most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself. It's just a little too much food. 

Why we "overeat"

Since I started eating intuitively, I haven't really been "too full."

Back in my dieting days, I would often find myself in situations where my belly would be terribly full. 

via GIPHY

I've talked about this before in my mac and cheese episode  and exercise is a drug post.

Many things cause overeating. Want to figure out the reason you can't stop? 

Here are three common motivations for overstuffing: 

1. Dieting

So says the great and powerful Isabel Foxen Duke: 

"The only time you will ever feel 'out of control' around a specific food, is when you’re trying to control it to begin with."

Why would you feel "out of control" if you're not controlling food in the first place?

Science shows how restriction can lead to binging. The most famous experiment was the Minnesota Starvation Experiment. Young men followed a strict "semi-starvation" diet for a period of 24 weeks.  A few of the dudes had a "complete breakdown in control." and broke into the food supply. 

Dieting creates scarcity. Your body doesn't know the difference between a diet and a famine. When you get your hands on a batch of fresh-baked cookies, your survival instincts kick in.

Even perceived restriction can lead to overeating. This is what the intuitive eating ladies call "last supper" mentality. You go nuts on food because your gut thinks there's not more coming soon. 

This made sense to the prehistoric humans who understood that winter was coming. Your body knows to eat a little extra and store it on your booty for the those colder months.. 

2. Feelings

I read through a BUNCH of binge eating disorder websites to write this bloggy post. They all refer to "psychology" as a reason for binge eating. 

I like to think psychology is fancy doctor-speak for feelings. Food is fantastic at numbing. It's also designed to make you feel good. A lot of foods activate dopamine and serotonin responses in your brain.

I used to eat a TON of cereal after I spent all day working as a cashier. I was depressed and I wanted to feel better.

When I was chowing down on my cinnamon sweeties, I was able to zone out on Hulu and simple sugars. It felt good to be "bad." Sia would call it a cheap thrill. Eating a few bowls of cereal at 11 pm at night was the most exciting part of my excruciatingly boring day. 

I think emotional eating gets a bad wrap. It's not IDEAL to shove your feelings down into a box of cereal but for me, that habit helped me cope with a difficult part of my life. Since I quit the job, I haven't eaten that cereal at all. 

3. Because you want to

Sometimes, I just eat a lot of something because it is, for real, not something I'm going to have later. For example, when I lived in Argentina, I ate spoonfuls of dulce de leche (it is BOMB there). 

I eat an extra serving at Thanksgiving because it's not going to be around for another year. Thanksgiving is an elaborate meal that we have a national holiday just to prepare for. Ain't nobody got time for all those side dishes any other time of year. 

Whatever the reason, it's OKAY to overeat sometimes. But, if you want to prevent that gaseous uncomfortable fullness in the future, subscribe below.