Reasons why you don't NEED to go to the gym on Black Friday

Two weeks ago, I talked about how I got "tricked"into buying a gym membership during the holidays.

I"ve also talked about motivation for going to the gym. If your goal is weight loss, you're just not likely to go. That's behavioral psychology, bitches.

Hey, the holidays can be a great time to hit the gym. It's an awesome way to get away if you're having a frustrating time. It's something to do when you're feeling lonely or stir-crazy. Exercise also releases endorphins. It's literally a way to feel better if you're angry about how your Aunt burned the Brussels sprouts.

BUT........Thanksgiving is  just one of those times when it's too easy for trainers to talk about "burning off" your food. It's just a hot mess of "fat talk" and "preventing weight gain."

In case you are feeling anxious about the Black Friday gym rush, here are some reasons that you can take a break. 

1. Gyms make money off you not going. 

In 2014, All Things Considered revealed how gyms need the people who don't go to subsidize people who do. For example, Planet Fitness has 6500 members, but if all 6500 of those members actually showed up, they would likely be breaking fire code. 

If you're not likely to go anyway, subsidize your self-care, not the diet industry. 

2. Built-in breaks are good for you. 

My old swim coach used to say that you could ramp up your training for up to 12 weeks. After that, however, you might be hurting yourself rather than helping. 

Since this was over a decade ago, the best source I could find to corroborate this was livestrong.com. Bodybuilders do what they call a "deloading week." This actually enhances their performance. 

Maybe Thanksgiving & Christmas could be your "deloading" weeks. 

3. Health is not just about EXERCISE.

Arianna Huffington wrote a whole book about this. In her book Thrive (and on other places on the internet) she explains the importance of rest. She points out that Americans leave "175 million vacation days unused." She writes, "61 percent of Americans confess to working while on vacation."

Not only are Americans not taking their vacation, but they're also working on vacation. And vacations are good for you. 

Sleep and rest and love and family are good for you, too. So, if your gym routine is getting in the way of those healthy pieces of your life, it's okay to skip it. 

4. Diet and exercise are not preventing weight gain in the long run. 

People often talk about spiraling out of control whenever they're off their normal "routine." 

Weight gain after periods of "routine" might be a signal that you are restricting too much. There's actually more correlation between dieting and weight gain than dieting and weight loss. 

5. If you're not restricting, set point theory will protect you from ballooning. 

Genetics play a big role in determining your weight.  You might have noticed that your weight doesn't fluctuate too much even when you diet. I know I've gained and lost the same pounds over and over again.

I've talked about set point theory a lot.

But if you still don't believe me, listen to this scientist explain it. 

Set point theory means that your body has a certain weight it wants to be at. If you eat extra stuffing, your set point will keep your body at homeostasis within a certain range. 

6. Gaining a little weight might keep you warm in the winter. 

If you're into seasonal foods, why not be into seasonal weight gain? Our ancestors  wanted a little extra to keep them warm during cold winter cave nights. Winter foods tend to be heavier. They tend to be more "caloric" and lower in fiber. You might even find yourself craving something with extra fat when it's a really cold day. 

If you were a caveman living in Scandinavia, you'd be hella grateful for that extra turkey fat. Maybe you can save a little money on not buying cashmere this year. 

7. WHO CARES IF YOU GAIN WEIGHT? 

 I can't emphasize this enough. Your weight is not an indicator of health. 

So what if you're not getting swipes to the right because you gained a free sweater's worth of weight? That person doesn't understand economics and they're shallow. 

So, put on your sweater, skip the guilt, and skip the gym if you want to. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

Not giving a fuck about being "fat"

Hi. I'm Noel. 

And I don't give a fuck about my cellulite

It didn't always used to be this way. 

This is me eating churros in a bikini. And I don't give a FUCK. 

I remember when I  learned about the shame of weight.  I overheard one my handsome male classmates describing Lizzie McGuire as "a fat cow." 

I was subconsciously aware that I didn't want to be fat. Until that moment, I was suspicious that other people cared. This classmate confirmed it. People are watching and even if you're a cute Disney star, you're still not good enough. 

 If Lizzie McGuire didn't measure up, I certainly did not. 

I felt the shame of not looking like a cover girl. 

And that shame stuck with me for years. Through high school. Through college. Through a few years after college. I felt like I always needed to show how sorry I was about not measuring up. Dieting was the easiest way to repent. 

This is an unspoken part about dieting. Dieting isn't just a way to lose weight. It's social and cultural capital that represents your desire to be better.

When you don't measure up to the standard, your only recourse is the act of trying. "Sure, I may not weigh as little as supermodels, but I'm trying to". It somehow makes us "better" to people who might feel disgusted with how we look. 

If we quit dieting, we quit apologizing.

We quit easing the tension. We quit the people-pleasing. We have to own who we are and not give a shit about somebody else noticing our zits, our belly rolls, our cellulite. 

This is terrifying. 

Embracing intuitive eating and embracing your natural body shape requires courage. 

But, on the other side of this courage is freedom. 

Freedom to not give a fuck. 

Musings on Tess Holliday

Today I had a great conversation with my friend @DrGhavami about what my options are to work on some of the things the ☀️ & mothering two children has done to my body. These aren't "flaws" - but they are things that have taken away from what makes me feel sexy in my own skin. Part of what I aim to do with #effyourbeautystandards is to let people feel like they are allowed to make choices for their own body. Whether that is shaving or not, getting tattooed or pierced, working out to change your body or choosing to undergo plastic surgery - you are allowed to love your body and still want to change things about yourself. As long as YOU are in charge of your body, and are doing it to make YOU happy, then what you do with your body is your business! @drghavami is ethical, kind & his passion for what he does really shines through. Proud to call him a friend🙌🏼💕 #effyourbeautystandards #drghavami

A photo posted by Plus Model✖️ Mom ✖️ Feminist🌹 (@tessholliday) on Aug 23, 2016 at 8:46pm PDT

Tess Holliday is considering plastic surgery and I'm feeling all the feels about it. 

Before I ruffle any feathers about my opinion on this, I want to say a couple things: 

1) The patriarchy does not own all aesthetic decisions that women make. 

This is the crux of the point that Tess Holliday is making. She is specifically saying that she does not view her body as "flawed." She just wants to make some changes to it. 

 I don't think that the patriarchy influences my aesthetic choices always. For example, when I choose to wear a sweater, it's usually because it's cold outside. It's not because "the man" is telling me to wear a sweater. 

It's important to acknowledge that Tess Holliday sees herself having agency in this decision. There's no gun pointed at her head or an abusive husband demanding that she change her body. This is something that I've talked about before. It is possible to have agency in the patriarchy. 

2) This post is helpfully vague in what she is planning on changing. 

 It's hard to know what her decision is based on when we don't know what's going on. Maybe she is getting scars or stretch marks removed. Maybe she is adding scars and stretch marks. She could be getting a mastectomy or another medical procedure and still wants to keep her modeling career. 

We just don't know. And it probably is none of our damn business. It's her Instagram page not her medical record, even if she's a public figure.

3) Tess Holliday's body positivity is palatable. That is what makes her a successful activist. 

When I first starting trying to look at larger bodies and see them as beautiful, I went on Pinterest. I looked up plus size models in bikinis. 

Tess Holliday, Kate Upton,  and Ashley Graham look like the runway models we usually see. Their frames are hourglass. Their skin is clear. Their makeup is on point. They are predominantly white and upper class. They generally are trying look like Cindy Crawford. 

Seeing women who are bigger who look beautiful really really really helps. 

In a big way (pun intended), Tess Holliday is helping women. She's showing people bigger women can be attractive in a way that allows them to see it. She uses these markers of traditional attractiveness to make people comfortable. 

 Having scars or stretch marks or parts of her body that prevent her from making this appeal are "off brand." They might be taking away from her work as an activist in a pivotal way. 

4) And, yes, absolutely, Tess, "what you do with your body is your business."  

That is at the heart of the pro-choice movement. Whatever you decide, you still own your body. Nobody else does. 

But... I'm still a little disappointed. 

 Her choices affect other women because she is a public figure. 

I've talked about Anita Sarkeesian's talk about choice feminism. The choices we make have an impact on other women. 

Not all choices, just for being choices, are feminist choices. My choice to wear a sweater is not a feminist choice if I'm making it based on the weather. 

 I think what she's saying is CONFUSING. 

How can she explain to women looking up to her how she decided what she didn't like isn't a "flaw?" 

It's just confusing. She's saying, "Yeah yeah yeah. I'm perfect. I don't need to change but I'm going to and I want to." 

 The exercise and diet obsessed, who were on the path to recovery, now have this Instagram post to point to. They can say, "But I don't like my body. It's my body. I get to decide. I can decide to keep doing (insert unhealthy behavior)."

 The "man" could appropriate this to convince women that body hate is "empowerment."

I did a lot of work in therapy on being able to hold two things at once. I can love my body and I can want to change it. You can certainly love your body. You can certainly change your body as an act of love. 

My concern is how companies appropriate the language of body positivity to sell products. I fear we won't allow women to feel like they can just be in their bodies as they are. We will use the language of body positivity and feminism to "empower" women to hate their bodies. 

This has already happened around dieting and health. These days we mask disdain for fat people with "concern for their health." 

 It makes me sad that even my heroes can feel like they want to change.

I'm disappointed because women like her are the women I look to on my bad body image days. When I dislike how my body looks, I want to see women who are unabashedly proud of how their body looks every damn day. 

I want Instagram posts about jiggly thighs and stretch marks and scars and saggy boobs. I want to see belly rolls and wrinkles and birth marks. Instead, I'm seeing a "body positive" advertisement for cosmetic surgery. 

But, here's my deus ex machina. 

I appreciate that Tess Holliday is being honest. I appreciate that she's being vulnerable. I appreciate that she is tackling this complex concept of how she chooses to live in her body. 

After all, the rest of us make choices everyday about what we're going to change and what we won't. 

For example, I shave my legs but I don't shave other parts. I sometimes wear makeup and braid my hair and care about what clothes I'm wearing. It would be too exhausting to be perfectly feminist or perfectly body positive. 

I don't think you have to walk around in a paper bag and demand that society accept you as you are.

 BUT.... society should accept us unchanged, naked, make-up free, belly rolls, stretch marks, saggy boobs and all. 

We're all human beings, right?